If you have not read "The 5 Love Languages," by Gary Chapman, you should definitely do it. Guys, that means you too! Whether you're not dating, been in a 2 week relationship, or married for 30 years...it speaks to everyone.
Don't want to read it but want to know what your "love language" is? Here you go: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/30-second-quizzes/love/
After all of that advertising...I don't believe I fit into any of these categories. Although if I HAD to choose one that fit me the most it would be Acts of Service. Words of Affirmation...not me. Guys can say all day that they will, "give me the world," but until they show me...I won't believe them. Quality Time...closer to my love language, but quality time just isn't enough. Receiving Gifts...the farthest away from my love language. Physical Touch...definitely a good starter, but not a good finisher.
Having gone through what I've gone through in the past few years...I must say that my absolute love language is "partnership."
--I'm a strong woman who needs a stronger man to put up with me. I'm a business woman, who loves intellectual conversations that challenger her, loves to volunteer and give to others, but does not like to cook or clean or put away laundry (although I will do all three). I'm a HANDFUL and not made to be anything close to a housewife. But that's always been me and I don't pretend to be anything else. So, I need someone who will accept me for who I really am and not someone that they think I will become.--
"Power and control are two of the most significant issues in any relationship." There is constantly a power or control struggle when there doesn't have to be. Find what strengths you have and what strengths your partner has and talk about them and make them work if you want your relationship to work for the long haul. Do you have some of the same strengths? Then play off each others strengths and work together, not apart.
--Let it be known that I am not a feminist, but beleive that women can be strong and there are men that love that and can put up with it.--
Then there is respect. Do you completely respect the person your with? Every aspect of them? If you don't...it will show and they will become embarrassed of that part of them that you don't respect...even if they are ok with it themselves. Be respectful.
Control, power, and respect. Three things that you should constantly be aware of and how they are affecting your relationship.
"Who are you to give relationship advice?" Maybe not, but I know what doesn't work.
3 comments:
I went to a couples thing where they made us do the 5 love languages. It helped!!
"Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs. Sheldon and I took a 9 week course based on the book, which is based on Ephesians 5:33. It's AMAZING and doesn't over simplify that every person is different. It does emphasize that men and women are different, have different needs, and do not look at things the same way. It gives practical and Biblical options for partnership. And I looooooooooved it.
Thanks guys!
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