Monday, June 7, 2010

Time for myself

I had not heard of this book until I saw the previews with Julia Roberts a few weeks ago. It's called, "Eat, Pray, Love" and here's a snapshot:

"I got started early in life with the pursuit of sexual and romantic pleasure. I barely had an adolescence before I had my first boyfriend, and I have consistently had a boy or a man (sometimes both) in my life since I was fifteen years old...each overlapping the next, with never so much as a week's breather in between.... And I can't help but think that's been something of a liability on my path to maturity."

That was exactly when I had my first boyfriend and how I've gone about dating for NINE years!

"Elizabeth had everything that a woman is suppose to want - A loving husband, country home, and a successful career but although she lived what seemed like a perfect life, she couldn't figure out why she still felt so unfulfilled (Did someone capture my life in a book without me knowing?). This New York Times Best Seller is about her a journey to three different countries in order to find divine peace. I read about her pursuit of pleasure in Italy, her pursuit of devotion in India and her pursuit of balance in Indonesia."

I've taken the recent initiative to let it all go, be single and focus on myself. I'm assuming this book will further inspire me to let it all go and chase after those dreams that I once thought I would never be able to achieve in my current situation.

Making it happen's really happening this time. I'm Grand Canyon bound! Like I've said before, I've never been and it's time to stop sitting on it and just get it done.

My batteries are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here, gas can in hand. I hate to admit I'll probably break a bone. 'Cause I'm leaving to the Grand Canyon, don't know when I'll be back again...ok that's enough...

There's a new moon on the night of June 12th and I can't wait to see more stars than I've ever seen! I'll map out my journey here:

Map of entire trip:,+TX&daddr=Grand+Canyon+Village,+AZ&hl=en&geocode=FRHXzQEdK48s-ikvA8ygmbVEhjF61WnUS0abXQ%3BFSQGJgIdNapQ-Skl4_-VTxczhzGhniKadMLMuA&mra=ls&sll=35.986896,-111.74469&sspn=1.253422,2.112122&ie=UTF8&t=h&z=6

2,200 miles in 3.5 days.

Thursday night(5pm - midnight) - Leave Austin for Lubbock to see the family and get a free meal and lodging.

Friday (8am - 8pm) - Drive to the Grand Canyon, see the stars, explore. Drive back to Tusayan to hotel.

Saturday (5:30am - 3pm) - Drive to the Grand Canyon, see the sunrise, explore.

Saturday (3pm - 10pm) Drive to Albuquerque, NM to see my cousins. Meal and lodging.

Sunday (8am - midnight) Drive back to Austin to record said exploration.

Solitary road trip. Just me and some music. Getting into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened.

Wish me luck...I'll probably need it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Obsessed with now

My 24th birthday was this weekend and let's just say that I have the best friends a girl could hope for. 22 of us floated the river, while the best BBQer in Texas (I'm completely convinced) made us breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
It has become an annual event that started last year on my 23rd birthday. I needed to get away, forget about things and surround myself with the people who loved me. I thought that I needed that time to relax and figure things out. Figure out where I was headed and what I wanted to do with my life here on earth. Have I figured it out in the past year? No. But has anyone?
The human race is transfixed with wondering what will happen in the future. Where will they be in 5 years, 10 years from now. These are popular questions asked on "about me" surveys. Psychic jobs exist for this reason. I have no data to back this up, but I would assume that college students' and graduates' greatest worry is..."what now?" When the stock market crashed in 2008 (also known as "The Panic of 2008"), that's exactly what happened, people panicked. What's going to happen next...stress, stress, stress. It's just ingrained in our minds and I would assume even more in American minds.
I have figured one thing out in the past year. I don't want to be obsessed with the future. I want to be obsessed with now. I want to be more accepting of the fact that it's ok to not know what will happen tomorrow, but hope to transfer that fear I have of knowing...into a knowing of knowledge and not obsession with the future.