Monday, September 6, 2010

Too far in advance

I've always been an extreme planner and I'm sure I should thank my parents for that.
I can remember the exact day my brain began to pursue things that I wanted years in advance. At the age of 6 at my first national twirling contest my dad said to me, "Do you see that girl in the burnt orange jacket that says 'Feature Twirler'...you want to be her one day." And it began...
15 years later, I had been that girl, graduated from college in three years, received a job at a Big Four accounting firm and had everything that I could have possibly wanted. I never would have considered over-planning a bad thing. If it was possible, I dreamed it, put my head down and made it happen.
Plans changed. Things fell apart. I was lost and then found again. And in the end all that planning did help my career, but at what point should that plan have been adjusted? Did I just set goals and achieve them without any implication along the way that maybe my plan was somewhat bogus? Did I just plow over those red flags to get what I had dreamed up a few years before?
It's been a hard habit to break, but now, while making plans or thinking things through years in advance, I try to stop, bow my head, and say, "Dear God in heaven, please help me to remember that you're in control. Help me to quit freaking out and let things play out like they should. But if you could please let the Longhorns win another national championship...I'd be most grateful (jk...kind of). Amen."
When my future plans begin to happen, I hope I've been through enough to sit back every once in a while and say, is that still what I want? And if it is...is it good for me? Am I being challenged? Am I a better version of myself because of it?

"Trust the Lord your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path."

I hope to keep seeking God at every opportunity.

1 comment:

lauren said...

hey girl... thank you for following my blog and allowoing me to check out yours it is amazing... btw :)!!! I want to follow yours but cannot seem to find the follow button but know that I love you dearly and I am so glad that you are keeping God first